After Christmas Daybook

Outside my window...
It's supposed to be 71 degrees today.  Right now it's foggy and in the 50's.

Hearing...
KJ and the kids putting together Lego.  Two of the kids aren't up yet.

Thankful for...
Christmas, family, laughter, tears, vacation, all of it these past couple weeks.

Thinking about...
2016, how our lives will change this next year.

Learning...
We kept up with math and reading until now.  We need to ease into some things coming up when we go back to school.  Some library trips may be involved.  :)

Struggling with...
Staying in the moment, always one of my weaknesses.  I'm a planner.  It's what I do.

From the kitchen...
We got some beef from my mom that's stocking up the freezer for the time being.  That's always nice.  We haven't been doing too much with it lately with all the festivities, but we did have a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner.  I made salisbury steak, mac-n-cheese, and broccoli.  Logan's a lover of my broccoli now, which I think is WONDERFUL.  Still trying to convince Marley.

  Reading...
The Four Teresa's.  A friend from school recommended it.  I'm also reading a book about praying for your husband.  I can't remember the name right now.  Both books are a lot to ponder, so it's slow going.

Creating...
KJ got me some coloring books and markers.  You know, the kind that are all the rage right now with adults.  I envision sitting in bed with a cup of hot tea and coloring.  Kaelyn got a woodburning kit for her birthday.  Here are some things she gave as presents.

This was Nana and Papa's.

 This was Grandma and Gecko's.

This was an assignment for school, and then she framed it and gave it to Gecko.  It is the two of them when she was 13 and he was younger.  ;)

Around the house...
 Not much is happening.  There's a lot of cleaning to do, but it'll have to wait until after the Epiphany, which happens to coincide with KJ's birthday.  There are things that need done before then, like tending to the forgotten green pepper mess that we found in the pantry.  Blech!

Praying...
For my husband and family.

Picture thoughts to share...
   

 How KJ addresses tags to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas jammies

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End of the Year - Questionnaire

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

I got married again  :)

What was the single most challenging?

The eldest going off to college

What was an unexpected joy this past year?

A new friendship that I was not expecting

What was an unexpected obstacle?

Training in DC for two weeks out of the summer was really hard on the family.

Pick three words to describe this past year.

Detachment, Silence, Progress

Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your year - don't ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you.

faith-full, busy, exciting

Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their year.

fine, busy, exciting

What were the best books you read this year?

Little Britches, Carry On, Mr. Bowditch

With whom were your most valuable relationships?

God, Kevin, Courtney, Jen

What was your biggest personal change from January to December last year?

Becoming a Carmelite

In what ways did you grow emotionally?

I'm learning to be ok with things.  Sometimes I tend to overreact, but I've been working on that and being ok with how things are.

In what ways did you grow spiritually?

Becoming a Carmelite has changed me a lot I think.  I've become more prayerful, and that's always good.

In what ways did you grow physically?

I tried my first whole30 and loved everything about it.  How it changed everything from my pain, to my moods, to my attitude.  Simply Lovely.

In what ways did you grow in your relationship to others?

I tend to be very shielded sometimes.  This year I definitely felt more of putting myself out there whether the other person was comfortable or not because it was who I was.

What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

I teach a new class to 3-6yos about God.  One day I was reading a book to a 4yo boy.  Every page was a puzzle to be put together.  He was putting together the priest, and I asked him who that was, pointing to the priest.  He said it was the good shepherd, which is the name of the class.  He was getting it.

At home, it was my homeschool review for the fall.  I was worried my kids weren't up to par, and they excelled!


What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

I have a boy in my class that is especially challenging.  The parents want answers that I'm not trained to give, but I'm not giving up on him.

At home, it's trying to prioritize things.  Between the gym, homeschooling, meal planning, cleaning, it's hard to juggle all of them without a few of them getting no attention at all for a while.

What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Fretting

What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Anything that involved planning ahead always made things go smoother, but I'm lazy.

What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?

No one can give me what I long for and search for except for our Lord, Jesus Christ.  I try to find it in my spouse, kids, friends, moments.  All of them fail.  

Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.

Steady as she goes

Friendship Flow

When I was a little girl, my best friend was Mary Kay.  She lived down the street from me and we were inseparable.  When we reached high school, we were still friends, but we found different friend groups that were not similar AT ALL.  I punked and she prepped.  

Since then there were a few drifters, and a few solids.  I didn't really know what I was looking for, but I found myself extremely lonely in my new home school mother world in a different state.  I reached out to the home school group at church, and there were a few gems, but still I searched.

I watched Anne of Green Gables for the first time seven years ago.  I suddenly knew what I had longed for!  A bosom friend.  I prayed and the Lord answered.  Within the year, that bosom friend moved away.  We still talk, but it's not the same as popping over to each other's houses whenever we wanted.  When she left, she told me to contact this other person in our home school group.  I did, and that person became a good friend.  Your first bosom friend is your forever bosom friend.  So this next friend was a close second.

For a while, we were tight.  Think pb&j or peas and carrots, or anything and butter.  Our friendship rode through some turmoil and bounced back over the course of years.  Then, as if a rug was pulled out from under my feet, it was gone.  Neither of us said we were going anywhere, and neither of us did.  We just stopped talking so often.  We stopped seeking each other at out common places.  We stopped friending.  

Then an oldie/newbie came into the picture, who had been there, but we weren't exclusive.  We aren't exclusive now, but I trust her completely.  Our friendship formed over the past five years.  She's really an amazing person, not that my other friends are not, but I'm pondering on the ebb and flow of friendships.  

I know friendships have seasons and phases.  I know that some friends are forever friends no matter how long you're apart and don't talk.  You pick right back up.  I've been blessed with a few of those too.

I remember when I told God how sad I was that this other friendship felt like it was dying.  How I didn't feel like I could just go to her and tell her all things anymore.  I got a notion He was telling me that He would listen if I wanted.  I felt foolish.  Isn't this what He asks of us?  To be our forever friend?  Our bosom friend?  

Here I am, Lord.

Birthday/Turkey Day

Birthday festivities went off without a hitch.  There wasn't much to them except the all important getting the updated license stating 21 years old.  She went out with friends that evening, and everything was pretty low key.  
Nana and Papa the next day for a birthday dinner, and then Thanksgiving.  It went well.  Crazy as ever with the traveling from one place to another and eating two huge meals within hours of each other.  The family we dragged along with us did well too.  
So much to be thankful for, and I hardly ever stop to realize it.  I need to work on that.  Friday was a lounge day, and today we went for more birthday festivities.  This girl is lucky.  I hope she knows it, feels it, loves it.  
Tomorrow we take her back.  The kids are going to see where she lives and meet her friends.  Then it's back to ordinary life and settling in for advent.  Prepare ye the way of the Lord.

Thanksgiving

- Meeting up with my first homeschool group friend and catching up.  It had been over a year, and we've been friends for 10 years
- A week of no stressful obligations coming up
- Some of the house cleaned, so I won't have to do much tomorrow to have a semi-clean house for Thanksgiving
- My faith
- Friends
- Being able to see my growth - almost as tangible as a measuring stick
- Slowing down
- Breathing more
- Making lunches for the needy
- Seeing two grown women cater to my Marley, so that she gets to help feed the hungry too
- Feeling welcome
- Waving goodbye
- Hot tea and honey
- Kevin
- Our new church

Twenty-One

When I was twenty-one, I was living at home.  I had moved back from a short stint of living on my own.  I was working at a travel agency from 9a-5p, would come home for dinner, and work as a waitress from 7p-2a.  It was a rough schedule.  I was good at both those jobs, and I thought I was saving up to move out with K.  She was four years old.
She is turning twenty-one next week.  When I type that sentence, it's hard to breathe.  I can't remember anything.  I saw a post about someone trying to remember when they last washed their daughter's hair since she could do it herself now.  I try to remember lasts with her.
The one I remember most was picking her up.  She was four years old.  I feel so guilty writing that because M is seven, and I'm still picking her up.  K and I were outside.  She had just given me a flower she had picked.  She was wearing jeans and a navy blue sweater.  I remember it because I have a picture of it.  That was the last time I picked her up, and it makes me sad.  
I am not a hugger.  It does not come naturally to me, so I work hard at it.  Because of this, K is not a hugger either.  I'm trying to turn her into a hugger by hugging her a lot more now.  She squirms, but I think she secretly likes it.  I'm getting used to it too.
I remember complaining to my mom a lot about these kids growing up.  She would always tell me it's just a phase, and I'd be complaining about the next phase too.  Maybe I would even want the prior phase back.  Words of wisdom.
I'm not sure why I feel like this is so permanent.  She was an adult at 18.  She still lives at home.  The only thing changing is her age.  She still calls for help on papers or decisions, so I'm not sure what my problem is.  I just know that I can't breathe, and I want to cry.

Renewal

I stopped blogging.  Could you tell?  I thought it was becoming a time-waster.  Now I'm upset because more than a month has gone by, and I have no memories, written down at least.  I'm going to start back up, but this time it will be for me.  Memories and moments I want to remember and chronicle.  You can come along too, ok?

Kevin and I were remarried into the Catholic Church last month.  It was wonderful having our children there to witness.  We went on a short honeymoon to Ocean City.  It was like a ghost town, which was just fine for us.  We did some outlet shopping, eating, and some more outlet shopping, and some more eating.  :)  I had fun!  Poor Kevin and shopping.

My friend, Courtney, came the morning of the wedding and took our pics.  We found some stuff on Pinterest and then she tried it out.  She knocked it out of the park!  Let me show you.

There were more, but you get the gist of it.  I think they're fabulous!  That last one gets me every time I see it.  It's official.  We are really really married now. We have a new anniversary and graces showered upon us.  Thanks to all who made it happen.  You know who you are.

Behold, I make all things new.

God is working overtime in my life right now, and I'm loving every minute of it.  I won't go into details now but soon.  Since it's been a while, here's what's happening in the fam.

K- Home for the weekend and spent lots of time with the family.  It was really nice.  M wanted her birthday outing to be at the trampoline park, and we all got out of there with no injuries.  VICTORY!  K seems to be doing well and adjusting.  She has early morning classes and all her friends are health nuts.  She's in the process of training for her first 5K.  I hear a half marathon may be on the horizon also.  Craziness if you know this child.

R- Has her first job, and although only working one day so far, rocked it.  She's starting to sleep in later in the mornings, which is odd because she's always been our early riser.  Even as a baby, this child has been a 530a in the morning person.  On school days, it's awful to get her going, but on our off days, it's nice to let her sleep.  Has matured more coming into her 7th grade year.

L- Adjusting well to being back to school.  He still needs his hand held with some things.  It's a fine balance figuring out when he really needs help, and when he just doesn't feel like doing something for himself.  Still waits for me before going into mid-day prayer.  Bedtime has been going better, but first thing in the morning is still spent in our bed.  While Kevin doesn't mind it at all, sometimes I would like to sleep lay in.

M- Loves first grade and would probably be a lot more independent if she could read better.  Finished her math book and has moved on to a new one.  She's so excited, which I love because the rest of the kids inherited my math dislike.  Still seeks me out at school whenever she can and needs to know everything going on with my class.  She's L's partner in crime for the morning bed romp. 

100 days until Christmas!

A Boy and his Horse

Logan loves horseback riding.  He's good at it, and he's making so much progress.  Boys are so much easier.  Unfortunately, we've had some issues with his riding lessons lately.  Let me show you.

Logan is allergic to horses.  This is a new development considering he's been riding for almost a year.  Poor kid.  We gave him Benadryl, and then the mom of the riding teacher, hosed him down (literally!).  He cleared up and took a bath when we got home.  All hives are gone.  He asked if this means that he can't do lessons anymore.  :(  He was so worried.  I assured him that we would make sure to have a change of clothes and medicate him before lessons.  We also might try gloves, but I don't know if he won't still rub all over his face.  They all do it, and it drives KJ and I crazy.  Hopefully, fall and winter will bring less allergies.

Man Down - A Daybook

Outside my window...
It's dark and buggy.  We had a cool down this week, which was nice.  Starting tomorrow we're back on the heat rise.  Blech!

Giving thanks...
For Kevin.  He puts up with so much.  I don't know how he does it, but I'm so glad he does.

In the Schoolroom...
We start back up tomorrow!  The kids and I are not excited.  Co-op starts next week, but this week we're going to ease into home studies.

From the kitchen...
Lots of good, healthy food.  My Whole30 ends Thursday.  Kevin and I have been joking about what I'm going to eat on the way home from the doc's office.  I'm seeing my Onc, and I'm going to see my blood-work after a month of no sugar and all things healthy.  

I am creating...
Classrooms.  Kindergarten and my new Catechesis of the Good Shepherd rooms are well underway.  There's still a lot to do!

I don't ever want to forget...
Hershey Park this summer with the whole family.  The way K spent time with everyone before she went.  The way R looks so grown-up with her new haircut.  The way L has a natural sense of humor like his momma.  
The way M has that same sense of humor but a little more quirky than her brother.

I am working on...
Adjusting to only three kids at home.  It hits me every now and then that I don't have to listen for her to come in by curfew every night.

I am reading...
the life-changing magic of tidying up

I am praying...
For my family and marriage.

I am hearing...
Gunshots from a movie on Netflix.  I thought it was going to be a romance, but so far, it's just a bunch of soldiers.

Around the house...
Well, I'm not done the tidying up book yet, but that's my next project.  For now, I'm getting things together for a drop at the local consignment shop.

One of the my favorite things...
Pistachios.  They're my after-the-kids-go-to-bed snack.  

A few plans for the next week...
School, doc, more school, and M's birthday this weekend!

A picture thought for you...

  

The Final Countdown

We drop our eldest off at college in three days.  This is a mess of thoughts currently running through my head.

1. How long would it take the university to find her a new roommate after her current one complains?
2. How exactly is the clothing issue going to work?  Right now she throws everything on her floor and rummages through the pile when she gets dressed.
3. How did this happen?!
4. Does she really understand that she'll have to drive to the store to purchase fresh items for the fridge?
5. I hope she uses the meal plan.
6. I hope she gets a job right away.
7. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!
8. She better go to class.
9. Was she serious about needing two huge bottles of popcorn kernels?
10. What if she has a nightmare, and I'm not there?  This kid always has nightmares, even when she was little.
11. Why can't I just focus on how much she's going to bother me when she comes home for Christmas vacation instead?
12. Where is she going to fit all this stuff she got in a tiny room that she's sharing with someone else?
13. Where is she going to fit the stuff she gets from the millions of care packages she's asking everyone to send?
14. Will it feel like this with the next one?
15. What if this is one of those "last" things?  Like the last time she lives here full-time?  
16. When did she start calling me mom instead of mommy?
17. I wonder if she's as scared as I am.
18. What if I didn't do a good job raising her, and the world breaks her?
19. Will she ever understand what this feels like?
20. how did this happen?

New Scenery

So I decided to change things around because honestly, I needed to become a bit less out there with my family.  I'll let those five of you reading my blog, know about this one, but in case of creepers, I'm not naming names or places anymore.  I'm sure you understand.  Hopefully I'll be a bit more regular here too.  Can't wait to show you what we've been up to!